Check on Your Strong Friends

I saw this post this week by Royce da 59 and it really resonated with me. For those who don't know, Royce da 59 is a rapper from Detroit who's long been connected with Eminem. I love how I'm beginning to see emotional health being promoted in popular culture! Jay Z goes to therapy and you know mental health is becoming more mainstream.

I wrote a post a few weeks back about invisible disabilities and I feel like some of those same concepts apply to our strong friends. Your strong friend is the one who you know goes through shit but doesn't seem to talk about it or ask for help very much. In fact, it might not seem like their stress is bothering them at all, but trust me, it is.

I know this because I am both the strong friend and someone living with an invisible/high-functioning mental illness. I go through shit like everyone else but am not one to post about it or even talk about it, except to my closest friends. Being a therapist, I am also more of a helper than a receiver, so it does make me feel better to be the one helping my friends.

However, there are times when I need help and then I often feel like I have no one to turn to. However, I must also examine my own part in this pattern in order to be emotionally healthy. I don't ask for help. I don't like asking for help. When people ask, I almost always say I'm okay. Then when I am going through something and need help, I wonder why no one knows. Doesn't make a lot of sense when you look at it like that.

So, if you have a strong friend, check on them, especially if they've been acting differently or been distant. Chances are they have a hard time reaching out and don't want to be a bother. And if you are the strong friend, allow others to help. It doesn't mean your weak. It just means your human like the rest of us.

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