You're Not Broken, Your Environment Was
One of my specialties is trauma. This isn't an area I intended to go into but I've found throughout my career that its something that underlies all other mental health issues. Trauma increases the chances that you'll develop a mental health issue and makes it more likely that you'll seek services from someone like myself.
A lot of folks who struggle with mental health issues feel broken or defective. It's something I have struggled with along my journey as well. The development of symptoms that you can't always control, that push others away, and make it hard to manage your life often leads to a decrease in self-worth and self-esteem. Our society only reinforces this shame.
One of the first things I want to teach my patients struggling with trauma is that they're not broken, their environment was. A huge section of society would've developed the same or similar symptoms had they been through what we have. This can help folks to stop beating themselves up and start working on managing their symptoms more effectively.
Trauma, especially developmental trauma or trauma during our childhoods, can wreak havoc on our lives well into adulthood. Add to that the fact that trauma victims tend to recreate their trauma until they heal and you see how a problematic pattern can be set early on that is hard to stop. Additionally, even things that you might not think would be traumatic can leave lasting scars including emotional neglect (more about that here) or bullying.
If you think that you experienced childhood trauma that is still impacting you today, my first step would be to find a therapist who specializes in this area and can help you to begin the process of unpacking how this has affected you. You can also research the Adverse Childhood Experience Survey or ACES, the largest study on childhood trauma and its impact to date. (Watch a great TED talk on ACES here) This is often an early homework assignment I give patients to normalize their experience and deepen their understanding of their own behavior. If you want to go further, try reading The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk, a leading researcher and clinician specializing in trauma.
Trauma is a leading under-identified health risk that can cause you to question yourself and negatively impact your work, relationships, and even your health. The good news is there are ways to manage it more effectively.
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