Kori Loewe

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Learn To Be Alone

Disclaimer:  If you are currently experiencing extreme symptoms that impact your ability to function or jeopardizes your safety, then talk to a therapist before forcing yourself to be alone.

Emotional health is all about balance which is why it's possible to both need support and need to learn to be alone.  Social media keeps us constantly connected and this can prevent us from doing some of the real work of personal growth.

I can't tell you how helpful alone time has been for me.  Especially because one of my issues was toxic relationships and I would go from one to the other without taking the time to be alone and figure out what this pattern was about.  Alone time can be helpful for a range of issues and gives you some objectivity and a chance to re-center.

Many folks find alone time to be scary.  They are haunted by negative feelings that seem to intensify if they are not distracted by something or someone.  Alone time can exacerbate negative emotions or thought patterns and it's important to have the tools to manage this enough to benefit from the time.  If you' don't have healthy coping skills, a quick Google search can give you a lot of great ideas or talk to a therapist.

Mindfulness is a great practice to have some experience in.  Mindfulness has helped my chronic, negative emotions/thoughts to have less power over my day and I've learned to watch them come and go instead of getting all wrapped up.  This skill can help to make alone time more tolerable or even enjoyable :) and keep you from being haunted by your demons.

It might also be helpful to plan out your time.  This can include cleaning your house, doing a backyard project, coloring, watching Netflix, doing a craft, whatever you enjoy.  Alone time doesn't mean you have to be sitting around doing nothing (although that's good in moderation too!).  It simply means you're alone with your thoughts and repetitive or simple physical labor can actually help to process your thoughts and feelings.

People will say "but I don't like to be alone," and to that I say, you're the one who probably needs it the most.  Avoidance of being alone is often indicative of some other issues and just trying it out can lead to some big insights on how to move forward.

If you want to challenge yourself and experience personal growth, then carve out some time and be alone.  Meditate, journal, or go for a walk if you want to feel more clarity and open the door for insight.  If the time becomes intolerable, then stop and connect with someone.  But try again.  It's important to your emotional and spiritual health.

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